Thomas Mahoney

Last night, John LaCroix and I were in a serious conversation about web metrics. To fill you in, John is from Boston and used to play in a hardcore band called Ten Yard Fight — look them up, they are famous. Anyway, John has a company called Medicine Agency with my good friend Rama. I’ve worked for Medicine Agency in the past and continue to serve as a “consultant,” whatever that means (basically I tell them rad shit and we give each other high fives).

So John has a blog called Blogging on Meds. If you look it up on QuantCast, the metrics will, I believe, tell you they average anywhere between 5k to 10k hits a day. Not too bad.

Anyway, John was showing me some stats tonight about his blog posts. One famously got picked up by Gawker because it involved some exclusive content involving Chris Matthews and Ariana Huffington. No big deal. I don’t care.

The point is, John shows me the inside of his site and points to the most popular blog post, which is based on search keywords. This is the blog: http://www.medicineagency.com/blog/archives/2163

The metrics tell the truth: BESTIALITY is the reason why people are coming. Beastility is one of the top searched words on the internet everywhere in the world. Blogging on Meds casually used the word bestiality, and it is their top post. Of all time. Ever.

Are you reading this? This means people on the internet want to see people FUCKING animals. Straight up. Whether it’s a joke, or they are serious, that’s the truth. (I mean, they also want to see cyber vikings, but that’s a totally different story).

Bestiality. The defining tag of 2008. All you people are fucked up. And I love it!!